1. |
Prologue (liminal)
03:30
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I will solve my riddle to the sound of strings,
Here’s to the untidy, unspoken things
The rusted raw pipes and the pipes of dreams,
The emptying of self and the pride it brings
Of things prepared and unplanned,
Rockets for men and moons unmanned,
Beaches of stones and shorelines of sand,
The can't, the might, the maybe, the can.
Of things still real and things pretend
The beginnings of middles, and starting of ends.
The speaking in riddles and the questions of men.
The voices of angels and the stories of friends
From the heart, to the heart, to the bitter end.
Like a pool for my soul, comes Spirit to mend
Unwinding my stitching, good shepherd to tend!
To the battles I won and lost again,
The delusions of profit and the freedom of cost,
The Kingdoms of men and The Kingdom of God,
The things that are sown and things that are tossed
Come seed! come tree! come weed! come moss!
Here’s to the belittled and here’s to the brag,
Of heretics and heroes, of fathers and dads
Of jesters and kings, of companions and cads,
Of parks and swings, beer bottles and cans.
Of the stars that we see and won’t ever reach,
Of the thoughts that we think and won’t ever speak,
The black, the white, the in-between,
The suffering and joy, the mighty and meek,
The loosing of captives, the strength to the weak,
The men that make gods, and the God that will bleed,
Screams ‘life’ from a dying mouth to free,
I’m out of my depth but I'm starting to see,
My beginning, my end, my boat! My sea!
The space between notes and the words that I sing,
The noise of the city, the humming of streets,
Perfectly hearing, understanding me.
My family, my island, my sun and sky,
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
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2. |
St. Francis
02:25
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Dear God,
I know my mind has changed
The bricks and walls have rearranged
To suit my needs.
You said you're in a desperate face
But I seek you in a polished place
Where fame might be.
And now I see the haunting truth
That the kingdom I have built
Is more for me than you.
Cos it's a long way down, (I don't want the noise)
It's a long way down, (but I just don't have a choice)
It's a long way down, (when the silence that kills is the quiet that heals me here)
Dear God,
I see the emptiness,
And I fear that I am settling for less than you.
With clever words and slogans I,
Just take your life and fit it into mine.
Cos it's a long way down, (I don't want the noise)
It's a long way down, (but I just don't have a choice)
It's a long way down, (when the silence that kills is the quiet that heals me here)
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3. |
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My fickle heart is killing me
Like the war between the leaf and the tree
the arrow longing for a slow release
The target bows, the people scream,
They don’t foresee and recklessly
they sweep away their sweeter dream onto a darker shore
and they always ask for more.
So what of you and what of me?
The earth beneath with glaring teeth,
opens wide to drink our ecstasy
Some say God only knows
But as i stand here with freezing toes
I think God just wants me to make any kind of change
And I’ll find out all on my own
How to reap and how to sow
With someone who seems to know and yet not know it all
Why do we do the things we hate?
Night after night and day by day
I pray to God for both our sakes,
It’s not just me and Dave,
I’m a fraud in every way.
So sound the horns make an awful sound
because all that we’ve lost is kinda found
Every saint, every sinner gather round
See I get it now, I've got things to say
But they hit your ears and dissipate
I'll have to find some other way,
To share my deepest thoughts.
And after all he's ever known
After the strip clubs and PTV shows
Before the lukewarm beer and the abandoned cold stiletto.
Somewhere along the line,
We all ran out of time
And as I see Him face to face we all look the same
We all the same.
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4. |
Wires
01:21
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I love you Dad and I know that I am broken
But I know that it's with wholeness you await,
And I know my soul hasn't raised a shout lately but still I can see you waiting patiently,
And I know my brain is full of carriages and trains of thought that don't know where they're even from or where they're going to.
But you're not relative, you're not the space I give to lies that live and thrive with every step I take from you.
No! You're remarkable! And the very remark I make of you is the pleasure that I take in you and the life you bring in death!
I love you Dad and I know that I am broken
But I know that's it's with wholeness you await!
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5. |
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When I was four years old I made a pact
As I climbed upon my bigger brother's back,
We said we'd always have each other, my first and only bigger brother
When I was four years old I made a pact.
When I was eight I made my mother cry,
And looking from the mirror to her eyes,
She said, 'boys you know I'll always love you, aslong as there's a sky above you'
When I was eight I made my mother cry.
And where are you now?
Where are you now?
Where are you now?
I need you here with me.
When I turned twenty I thought I'd know for sure,
But the sum of all my fears is something more,
I thought I'd have the clearest answers, but really I'm just moving faster,
When I turned twenty I thought I'd know for sure.
And now I see the beauty of it all,
The space between my thoughts, the rise and fall.
The God that's here and still a mystery,
The dad I miss and the girl who sees me.
Oh now I see the beauty of it all.
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6. |
The Things I Hate
04:55
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The things I hate I do
The things I hate I do
And these things I hate, make me hate coming to you.
God I need you to resurrect me again,
My faithful, unfailing father and friend.
I’m so sick, of meeting you here at loose ends.
For just once in my life, would my resolve not yield to my bends.
The things I hate I do
The things I hate I do
And these things I hate, make me hate coming to you.
God I need you to resurrect me again,
My faithful, unchanging father and friend.
I’m so sick, of meeting you here at loose ends.
For just once in my life, would my resolve not yield to my bends.
In this flickering light, the house has no name.
and the knock at the door only stresses my pain,
as I’m mistaking my Dad for a wolf in the rain.
And if all I can do in a room full of weights, is set fire to the trainer who’s pushing my down, with the flames I find within me, that I thought had gone out,
and to the door I now run as I’m hearing my name, running into the light and away from the grave.
Into arms stretched wide open, this tidal wave sweeps me into the ocean, where the son of man meets me,
the dirt on my body met with blood from his heart, I crash into the water and he lifts me on out.
With a smile and with love my saviour refrains from rendering my weakness with bondage and chains,
But he sees me as clean, and he sees my as son and the chains I once are the strength he puts on!
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7. |
Epilogue (prodigal)
07:09
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It's time now to go,
Away from my family.
Because there's no room to grow
In these walls that surround me.
So I pack all my clothes
And ask for your charity
Let me leave you alone
I just need some clarity.
So it's time to hit the town
And find my identity
But as the people crowd around
I just find immunity
So I search out a crown
Let it lift me to royalty
But the gold weighs me down
And the crown it just bruises me.
So I seek out some help,
But the world just refuses me.
It tells me that success,
Is the way to the truth I seek
So I continue on my path,
But it just builds resent in me.
And I wonder if this town,
Is getting the best of me.
So I try to settle down
And find some consistency
But as she lays her life down,
I get scared of normality.
So I break off our pact
And the girl walks away from me
And the dreams I once had
Have just turned to apathy.
And I can't find my home,
In the lights and the fantasy.
I longed for a throne,
But it seems it just fell on me.
And people I had known
Have just turned their backs on me.
I'm lost and all alone,
And I think of my family.
Would my dad take me back?
Would he remember me?
If I saw him again,
I don't think he would take to me.
Because I've spent all my cash,
And I've sold my integrity.
But if I just asked for help,
Maybe he'd pity me.
I could stay for a couple weeks,
And look for a job to keep.
And then I'd get out of his hair,
And he could be done with me.
So I turn to head on back
With my shame all around me.
And rehearse the things I'll say,
When my dad finally sees me.
But as I reach the end of our drive,
The weirdest thing occurs to me.
That the very thing I seek,
Was found at the end of me.
And as I look down to the ground,
I sense I have company.
And these arms are thrown around,
Squeezing my body.
I look up and see the man,
Who I thought would despise me,
But he's crying out with joy
And he's holding me tightly.
He takes my bag and smiles,
And leans in to talk to me.
He says. 'Welcome home my son
I love you eternally.'
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Trev London, UK
Taking his name from his late father, 'Trev' is the musical exploits of U.K. musician George Trevor
White.
In 2016, Trev released his debut album 'Monk Days'. Part stream of consciousness, part Christian worship album, part shared therapy session.
'Self, Other' (2018) explores themes of love, sin, marriage & death.
2021 introduces us to 'I have hope', his most confident and confessional yet.
... more
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